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Shit Christian Grey Says

A smattering of quotes from the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy
May 12 '12

You are a pervert.”

“I know.” He raises his eyebrows and his grin broadens.

“My pervert,” I whisper.

This is an actual quote from an actual book on best seller lists everywhere. RLY?!!
May 11 '12
"Never trust a man who can dance."
yes, because that’s the important point you want to take away from this book; not to trust someone who can dance. 
May 10 '12
May 8 '12
"He’s naked except for those soft ripped jeans, top button casually undone."

on a practical note, when you start a sentence with “he’s naked” he should probably be naked. 

Also, I’m quite concerned how his pants are always unbuttoned or hanging low, I mean he’s rich right? buy a fucking pair that fits. 

May 7 '12
"My subconscious is furious, medusa-like in her anger, hair flying, her hands clenched around her face like Edvard Munch’s Scream."

so subconscious definition is; concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one’s actions and feelings.

so if you’re not fully aware of this part of your mind, how do you know she looks like a Greek god and a famous painting? THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

May 6 '12
"I am going to have coffee with Christian Grey… and I hate coffee."
OH NO WHAT A DISASTER!! you couldn’t perhaps order tea? or maybe grab a bottle of water or fruit juice? because it’s 2012 YOU MORON COFFEE SHOPS SELL ALL THE THINGS! fuck, my coffee shop sells ART and shit.
May 4 '12
"He kisses me very softly beside my ear.
“The woman who brought me into this world was a crack whore, Anastasia. Go to sleep.”"
Fifty Shades of Grey, p. 267. via
May 3 '12
"What is it about elevators?"
like in what sense? you mean why do people always break wind and then act like it wasn’t them even when there is only two people riding it? BECAUSE I KNOW THAT WAS YOU DAVID. 
May 2 '12
May 2 '12
"My inner goddes has her sequins on and is warming up to dance the rumba."